Our marriage service at Banwell Castle in England is April 26th which means it is high time we get some things going on this side of the pond. You know, things like mailing invitations, making decisions about who is coming and what food will be served, firming up the ceremony details, figuring out what to wear...basically, pretty much everything.
You might assume that a planning a small wedding service would be a piece of cake after pulling off that shindig in September. But nay, you would be wrong.
American weddings and English weddings are two totally different cats. The customs and traditions are different, the legal processes are different, everything is different except the end result and English as the language of choice.
And since I've never even been a guest at a wedding in England, I am at a cultural disadvantage when it comes planning one. In other words, I don't have a clue what I'm doing.
The only information I have about English weddings comes from being glued to the TV set watching this one:
...which is a little over the top for what we have in mind.
Ours will be a civil service, a low key ceremony nicely suited to people who have previously been at bat, nuptially speaking, and would like a little hoopla around their latest and greatest marriage but not so much hoopla as to pretend it is anybody's first rodeo. In short, a wedding with a sheepish attitude.
Since the whole point of going to England is to have a traditional English service, I'm relying heavily on the advice of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law along with whatever information I can glean off the internet about civil services other couples have had.
And that means just this one time I am using as an example:
...the civil service of Prince Charles the pig who cheated on Diana from Day One, and Camilla Parker Bowles the lying, cheating, conniving, two faced hussey who fooled around with Diana's husband behind her back the Duchess of Cornwall.
Dear God.
(Forgive me, Diana--I promise to kick Camilla right back to the curb as soon as her usefulness is over. PS I hear there's trouble in paradise between hubby and his new wife. Just thought you'd like to know.)
Anyway--and I can't believe I'm saying this--I used Camilla as a fashion guide and bought a cream color dress with a matching cream overcoat sort of like the one she's wearing in that photo, and Morley is wearing a morning suit sort of like Chuck's. Kidding, kidding. He's wearing a velour jogging suit and tennis shoes. Kidding again. He's wearing a dark suit. All terribly British, you know.
But I totally draw the line at wearing anything like that wierd thing she had on her head.
Wtf is that thing? Seriously. Is that supposed to be a hat, or did a quail crash land into the back of her head?
Or maybe it is a vortex of really bad marriage karma forming around Mrs. Chuck The Second--a little wedding gift sent from above by the late Mrs. Chuck The First.
Wearing a hat that resembles a peacock in heat attached to the back of your head is not a good look for you, Camilla. Or for anyone.
Seriously.
And so that's where Camilla's role as a fashion inspiration comes to an end.
Instead, I've chosen classic accessories that are elegant and understated, yet pay subtle tribute to my American roots:
God save Diana the Queen.
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