You peeps are joking, right?

Memo to the President and Members of Congress:

• The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
  
• Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
  
• Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
  
• War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and nothing has changed since the so-called War on Poverty started. It is broke.
  
• Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and both of them are broke.
  
• Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
  
• The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have failed in managing every government program under your control, while overspending our tax dollars and wasting our money on pork programs that do nothing more than help with your next reelection.

And now you want Americans to believe you can be trusted with a government run health care system?

Uh, not so much.

1934

I got a great email from my penpal Dewey containing this cartoon published in the Chicago Tribune back in 1934:

..close ups so you can read it better:

and the comment in the email:

"The more things change, the more they stay the same! Those who fail to heed the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. A review of the economic history of the 1930’s demonstrates that Roosevelt’s spending programs failed to turn the economy around. Unemployment temporarily dropped and then rose again in the late thirties to more than 15%. It took World War II to reverse that trend."

I think Americans are getting very impatient with politicians in general, and in particular with politicians who think it is perfectly okay to vote for the largest spending bill in the history of mankind without even reading it which pours billions--trillions!--of dollars we don't have into programs that have nothing to do with economic recovery. We're in a recession and our politicians have decided its a great time to install a swimming pool in the back yard and buy an Italian sportscar. They've lost their damn minds.

Washington politicians are out of control. They're on the mother of all shopping sprees and they're paying for it with their Capitol One Visa, also known as "loans from The People's Republic of China". And why shouldn't they enjoy splurging on every social program, every agenda they can dream up? After all, they don't have to pay back all those borrowed trillions--our great grandchildren will have to do that.

May I interest anyone in a nice cup of tea?

It is time

Shea and Sean Hannity

Be sure to listen to Sean Hannity's radio show today--my neice Shea is going to be on the air with him talking about...well, I'm not exactly sure what she'll be talking about but I know it will be wonderful and interesting and the best part of the whole show. You're a great American, Shea.

PS: Sorry, I couldn't resist the chance to say that

PPS: I hope you get a LobsterGram

stimulous nightmare

Dad and Dr. King

I grew up in the boonies where everybody pretty much looked and acted like everybody else. Of course we saw bad things on the news and knew discrimination existed elsewhere in the world, but it just wasn't anything we ever saw first hand.

My first chance to know someone different than me came when a Catholic family moved to town and the new kids came to summer camp with us. We children accepted each other without a second thought but the Catholic mother was a nervous wreck about the prospects of her children spending a week camping in the woods with what she viewed as a bunch of snake handling, feet washing, tongue-speaking, Catholic-converting Baptist kids. She sent her kids off with strict orders not to attend devotions with us or participate in any feet washings or snake handlings--activities which were not on the agenda anyway since we weren't that kind of Baptist--so the first discriminatory thought I ever had in my life was that Catholic kids were nice but their mothers were totally wierd.

When I first learned about slavery in elementary school, I came home and asked my Dad if it was really true that in the olden times people owned other people. He said it was true that some people had but not anybody we were related to. He assured me that our ancestors were so poor that their jobs were to clean the slaves' houses while they were at work. Around our house any budding concept of genetic supremecy--white or otherwise--was pretty much nipped in the bud.

In my Dad's view of the world a person's value came not from the circumstances of birth--skin color, social standing, wealth--but from working hard and staying at it longer than anybody else, and from doing the right thing even when the "right thing" and the "easy thing" were two totally different things. In fact, the only discrimination my Dad ever exhibited was an utter distain for "deadbeats"--people who didn't work hard and expected other people to take care of them, with particular distain directed towards men who didn't take care of their families or pay their bills.

Martin Luther King's view of the world was much the same as Dad's, except instead of teaching his values to six kids like my father did, he taught an entire generation to forget about the obstacles, work hard, and stand up for what is right.

So speaking as my father's daughter and allegedly the decendant of a slaves' maid, I am impressed that Obama worked harder and stayed at it longer than anyone else.

And if my Dad were still around I think he would also be impressed that Obama overcame the odds to achieve something that only a handful of other people in history have ever achieved.

Except Dad would be having a conniption fit that we've elected a screamin' Liberal to the White House. I forgot to mention that Dad's value system placed Liberals somewhere on the list between "people who drive Ford products" and "deadbeats".

Maybe it's just me then

The results of Tuesday's election made one thing perfectly clear to me: I am not in touch with the times. I'm out of the loop, unhip, a political dork. I'm a loaf of Wonder Bread two weeks past its expiration date in a world dominated by organic multi-grain artisan bread.

What is alarming to me is not that I simply disagree with the new President's position on this policy or that. Nope, it's worse: I just don't get it. When the question is asked about what experience, what insight he offered (other than a vague promise of change), all I heard was the sound of crickets while other people heard a symphony of..well, I'm not sure. Something else that got them excited and charged up. While half the country is singing his praises, I'm walking around with a bewildered Homer Simpson expression on my face.

Clearly, I'm out of step. I'm marching to the tune of a different drummer. I've become officially un-hip.

I've suspected my un-hipness for some time now. I passed up a pair of gorgeous shoes on the clearance rack because they had ankle straps. In years past, those shoes would have called out "Sexy Shoes! On Sale! Must Have!". Now all they say to me is "broken ankle". I move on, shuffling past the sexy shoes in my search for something with good arch support and a sensible heel.

I possess a considerable stash of the very pinnacle of unhip and not cool: knee high hose. Even though I know how dorky they look and despite my firm declarations in my (earlier) hip and cool days about being caught dead wearing them, I love them. Knee high hose, I can't quit you but I promise to draw the line at wearing you with dresses. God help me resist the temptation.

I flip through People Magazine in the waiting room at my dentist's office and wonder "who are these people?"

Morley and Heather know all the lyrics to songs on the radio that I've never heard before in my life, but I hum along with tunes played on the 1940's channel on XM Radio--and I wasn't even around in the 1940's. I'm not only out of touch with the current times, I'm out of touch with my own time. Bess Truman called: she wants her era back.

And there's more.

I like red meat and white bread.

Text messaging bewilders me. When I get a text from my daughter, I automatically pick up the phone and call her which, she tells me, defeats the whole purpose of a text message.

It bugs me when parents fix a plate for their children before anyone else gets to eat, instead of the elders going first like they did in the good old days.

I use phrases like "good old days".

I secretly think Brit Hume is totally hot.

My newfound un-hipness shows up in my social life too. Recently a group of people I didn't know showed up for a dock dinner and my unhip reaction to this new crowd was to channel June Cleaver. Their racy language and jokes sent me into a June-like retreat to join the group who had gathered on our boat to discuss politics, the economy, thermonuclear physics--anything unrelated to body parts or what you do with them.

(Of course if I'd really been June Cleaver I would have handled it totally differently. First I would have sent a subtle signal of discomfort by fingering my pearls and smoothing my apron, and then I would have tossed out a distressed "oh, dear". And if that gentle hint didn't do the trick, I would have said "Wally! Beaver! Both of you go to your rooms right now!". Then I would have dispatched Ward up there to wash their mouths out with Palmolive soap and beat the ever lovin crap out of them send them to bed without their supper.) June, you the bomb girlfriend.

Sorry, stray neuron. Where was I? The election? Right.

So even though my guy doesn't get to sit in the big daddy chair, I still respect the office of President. We've elected a guy whose only accomplishment as far as I can tell is to write two books about himself a hip new President and for the next four years I will do my best to keep an open mind while keeping my hand over my wallet and see how things go. Even though I didn't vote for him, it is in everyone's best interest to wish him success.

And now I need to strap on some knee highs and get to work. I want to get home early tonight--I hear there's a Matlock marathon tonight right after Ed Sullivan.

I'll feel better tomorrow, promise.

Happy Election Day. I hope.

I've done my civic duty. I voted this morning and I hope my loyal blog readers, all four of you, will get to the polls and do the same.

I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that this election is finally over. No more campaign speeches, no more political commercials, no more screaming at the TV during national news shows, no more recordings on our answering machine asking for our votes or our donations, and most of all, no more tense moments at parties over words like "l*beral" and "soci*list", or phrases such as "spr**ding the w**lth around". The number of emails flowing through my inbox is going to drop like a stone. I have no idea what I'm going to do with all that free time.

All I know for sure is come tomorrow morning half of us will be estastic and relieved and the other half of us will be absolutely miserable.

So as a salute the end of this very long election, I present this moving performance of "America the Beautiful". It brought tears to my eyes.

Obama Radio Interview, 2001

Please. Just listen to this before you make up your mind. Is this really what you think is best for America?

Lost Marbles and Joe the Plumber

The "Joe the Plumber" episode made me really cranky. He was just a regular guy standing in his own front yard when a candidate for president walks up his driveway (albeit with a couple hundred supporters and several TV cameras in tow) and when the candidate asked him for his vote, Joe asked a legitimate question. And for that he got slammed and mocked and derided and made fun of. What's up with that?

For the record, I am a Libertarian (less is more when it comes to government) and also for the record, I truly don't give a rat's rear whether Joe has a plumber's license or if he's just a guy who does plumbing. I thought he asked a very good question.

I relate to Joe. I just finished closing out the books for September and saw that Morley and his partner worked a total of 481 hours between them last month, or an average of 60.1 hours per week each. Or to put it another way, they each did a week and a half's worth of work every week.

We sacrifice a lot because of work. I often blog about how rarely we have free time or even take an entire weekend off, and Heaven knows our family hasn't seen much of us this year because we're always working. But we don't mind really. Even though we get tired of it sometimes we're willing to make the sacrifices now so we can enjoy ourselves when we retire in a few years. That's the American way--the harder you work, the luckier you get.

Joe the Plumber is working hard to get lucky too. He's a single parent raising a kid and would like to buy the small plumbing company he currently works for.

Except in the opinion of people like Senator Obama, people like us and Joe the Plumber are bad guys--we're too fortunate. Ours is one of the evil businesses that will have to pay higher taxes so Obama can "spread the wealth around because it is good for everybody". (Oh, really?) It just isn't "fair" for us to have more than our fair share--how much ever he decides that is--regardless of how hard we work or what we sacrifice to get it. Never mind that we're soon to be old codgers and are working like dogs while we can so we'll be able to support ourselves in retirement. And never mind that the company might possibly use that money to pay employees or buy better technology or something else useful that would grow the business, rather than handing it over to the government so they can "spread it around".

In fact, they say it is our patriotic duty to pay high taxes so the rewards we reap from our hard work can be given to others who are not as fortunate as we are--you know, those unfortunate people who don't work 60 hour weeks and get to take weekends off.

And before you think I am some insensitive jerk who doesn't care about the least of my brothren, that's not true. I give a bigger percentage of my income to charitable works than Senator Obama does (based on the numbers in the his tax returns) so I'm already doing a better job of "spreading it around" than he is. That is, my money is where his mouth is, and like Joe says in that video, I don't need another set of parents called "The Government" to tell me how to run my life or what I need to do to be a good person. Really, I'm on it. Doing the best I can here.

My anger isn't just about tax brackets. It's about the mindset that a government should decide so many of the details of your life and take away so much of your liberty for the "common good" as they perceive it. It's anger that a group of elected officials believe it is up to them to decide how well, or how poorly, citizens should live or what's "fair". And it's the eagerness to heap derision and ridicule on some poor rube who had the nerve to ask a politician a simple question.

And while I'm on a rant here, can somebody please tell me where exactly in the Constitution does the government get the power of income distribution? What gives it the authority to tell you how you will live, or how you will teach your kid, or how "fortunate" you are entitled to be? If you find those answers anywhere, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

While you are at it, if you find a single instance where a tax hike actually expanded, not contracted, the economy please let me know that too.

Has this country lost its marbles? Seriously.

Sunday Custody

It's official. Heather, the brat, has flown the coop and now lives in her own place. One of the conditions we negotiated in the deal is that we get custody every single Sunday for the rest of her life, so sure enough she moved out on Saturday but was back the next day for Sunday dinner.

To show what good sports we are that she selfishly insists on having her own life that does not include living with me until she's 85 years old (but I'm not bitter) we surprised her with a housewarming gift.

...a set of very cool black and white stripey dishes. They'll come in handy since we plan to show up for dinner at her house the other six days of the week.

PS: I tried to toss in a bonus gift that I thought matched her decor to a "T", but she wasn't having any of it:


STRAY NEURON:
This is a short video that has nothing whatsoever to do with Heather moving out but I thought it was pretty cool.

How in the world do you train a dog to say no to a treat? Shelby won't tell me.

Which candidate is for you?

Take this "Match-0-Matic" quiz at ABC News' website (pretty quick to do--takes maybe five minutes or so) and see which candidates' position matches up to your political positions on various issues.

Here are my results:



As it happens, I agree with McCain pretty much across the board--who wouldda thunk it?

Actually almost everybody who knows me wouldda. I've always been a political Conservative, starting in junior high school when I worked in the Nixon campaign* as a "Nixon-ette" (I am not making this up). This was an important political position which involved me wearing the official Nixon-ette outfit--spiffy blue pleated skirt, white blouse, red kerchief tied around my neck--and standing on the stage with other Nixon-ettes and clapping at appropriate times during political speeches, then passing out election flyers afterwards. Since Maryville was a hotbed of national political activity wasn't exactly a political hot spot in the '68 election I got quite a bit of national TV exposure out of school early a couple of times. Good times.

Anyway, take the Match-O-Matic quiz and tell me who your candidate match is.

*By the way, I was also a "Baker Belle" in Howard Baker's re-election campaign. My duties were the same but the outfit was different--blue skirt, white blouse and a green kerchief. (For you kids under age 50, Howard Baker was a Republican who held the senate seat later occupied by Al Gore.)

Pulling the Big Boat and a Quote

Today's the Day:
At 12:30 today we get to see what the bottom of the Butt Ugly Boat looks like when it gets pulled from the lake on a big trailer. Needless to say there'll be plenty of photos and maybe even a video clip to follow.

Stray Neuron and the Best Quote of 2008:
"From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days. I keep leftovers in my refrigerator longer than that." - Columnist Cheri Jacobus

...and lots of people just can't wait to vote for him. That's just scary.