Jul 28, 2009

Me and Bratley

We grew up together, me and Bratley, the two youngest kids in a family of six. The age gap between the two of us and our four older siblings was such that the older kids weren't interested in playing cars or cowboys and Indians with us--they were more into activities such as dating and driving---so Brad and I pretty much had each other for company for most of our childhoods.

Brad had a speech impediment when he was little. Although I understood him perfectly almost no one else could, so I was not only his playmate but also his interpreter:

Stranger: "Why, what a cute little boy you are! What's your name, little one?"

Bradley: "Bbbwwwaaawwwey"

Stranger: "Huh?"

Bradley gives me an elbow to the ribs

Me: "His name is Bradley"

Stranger: "And how old are you Bradley?"

Bradley gives me an elbow to the ribs

Me: "He's three"

Stranger: "Well Bradley, you sure are cute with your blue eyes and those big dimples"

Bradley gives me an elbow to the ribs

Me: "He says thank you"

Stranger: "Would you like some candy, Bradley?"

Me: "He says no thank you and please give his candy to me"

Bradley gives me an elbow to the ribs followed by a karate chop to the throat

Brad eventually got his speech fixed thanks to a nice speech therapist at the university, but it took me another fifty years a little while to get used to not doing all his talking for him.

Bradley says thank you for all the birthday wishes*.

And he says he forgives me completely for forgetting his 50th birthday.

Also, he says I'm the coolest sister ever and way smarter and funnier than he is. Also he says I can have his new car, his uber cool Bluetooth headset, his GPS that does more tricks than mine, and a $30,000 check.

* Bradley: GO HERE to see what the heck I'm talking about. And you really should get in the habit of checking my blog more often, you know.

Jul 21, 2009

A sad tale about brothers and birthdays
Also, I need a favor, bad

As you may have guessed by the lack of riveting new material posted here, I've been working long and hard lately. And because I've been working so long and hard I've let a few things slip.

Things such as remembering my youngest brother Bratley's, er I mean Bradley's, fiftieth birthday for example. I can't believe I let such a big event slide by me, but I did and I let it slide BAD. It was last week.

But as you can see, he has maintained his boyish good looks (look at that, will ya? his leather jacket from high school still fits!) so you can understand why it just didn't dawn on me that the dude is getting old*.

*he's not as old as me, but still.

Anyway, so here's where I really need your help. I'm sucking up throwing a little belated birthday party here to make up for my forgetting I even had a brother the rather subdued 50th birthday festivities of last week and I would really appreciate it if you would leave Bradley a happy birthday comment.

Don't worry if you don't actually know him--he'll never figure it out and besides, he can't afford to be all that picky about who his friends are. (Oh wait, that didn't sound right. I wasn't referring to you, my dear and faithful readers, all four of you).

What I was trying to say is that it doesn't matter who wishes him happy birthday just so long as somebody does since his own durn sister forgot all about it. The goal here is to have 50 people wishing him a happy 50th Birthday.

My brother Bratley is special *cough* *cough* to me and I love him dearly. And I'm really truly deeply sorry that I forgot all about his 50th birthday. Also, I'm really banking on this shameless act of sucking up to get me out of his dog house. So lay it on thick, okay?


PS. If you think you might actually know Bratley but aren't sure, here is a photo of him back when he had hair:

PPS: And while we're at it, I'm also really sorry about last year when we left him stranded all night on a disabled houseboat with no food or water or luggage in 100 degree weather. But I can only make up for one Bad at a time.

PPPS: When you leave your Happy Birthday comment, can you please mention where you are from so he won't accuse me of leaving 50 anonymous wishes myself? (and if you happen to be in Tucker, Georgia just make up some another city--he'll never know the difference.) (He's so suspicious, that guy. I can't imagine why.)

Jul 15, 2009

Coming Soon to this Space:
Something I Actually Write Myself

In lieu of me posting anything that remotely resembles original material or otherwise filling this space with something--anything!--that requires more than a nanosecond of my time to slap up on the internet, here's an uber cute commercial to entertain you.

(I'm not slacking, I swear, just working.)

Jul 7, 2009

ObamaCare explained in Legos

My penpal Dewey (who always sends me the best, most thought provoking stuff) sent me this video. You really need to watch it.

Seriously, watch this short video and then think long and hard about what those out of control politicians in DC are trying to shove down our throats sign us up for.

Jul 4, 2009

Independence Day

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