the 30th Point of Compatibility

Five years ago this week I had my first date with the first of three prospective husbands I purchased off eHarmony*.

*In case you live on another planet with no television, eHarmony is an online dating service that matches couples on the basis of 29 points of personal compatibility.

Bachelor #1's name was Don, and in the photo he provided of himself he looked pretty darn good: a tall, nice looking guy with thick brown hair and a nice smile. After we got to know each other a little via email and phone conversations we agreed there seemed to be potential so we arranged to meet in person.

Being the savvy, street-wise chick that I am, I chose a restaurant in his part of town and not mine and assured him it wasn't necessary to pick me up, that I'd meet him there. It was always good to have your own wheels in case your date turned out to be (choose all that apply) a schizophrenic serial killer / stalker / rapist / wierdo / boring.

I immediately got a very good feeling about Don when we met that first time. He looked just like his photo--always a nice surprise when it comes to online dating--and as we chatted easily over dinner we discovered we really did have a lot in common.

Eventually our conversation turned to the attack of 9-11 and what we did that day, which is particularly handy information to have about your date. By knowing how they acted when the world was crazy, you get a good idea of how they would act if they get the gig as your Significant Other and down the road you find yourself in trouble and calling on them to save your ass.

I told my story first: there I was, all alone and trapped in Washington, walking the dark streets of an evacuated city with snipers on the rooftops and tanks in the streets, watching the Pentagon burn from my hotel window just three blocks from the White House, and flying home on the first plane out of DC when the airport eventually reopened. I told him how proud I was to be one of the thousands of Americans who flew that first day to show those terrorist cowards they didn't intimidate us one little bit.

And then I sang a few bars of God Bless America and recited the Pledge of Allegiance, then I sat back and took a sip of wine to await Don's story.

Here's what Don did on 9-11: left his office immediately, stopped for beer on the way home, got out all his guns and ammo, smoked a joint, and called his friend Bubba to come help him guard his house.

Me: "You're kidding".

Don: "No. Seriously."

Me:

Don:

Me: "You're joking, right?"

Don: "No."

Me:

Don:

Me:

Don:

Me:

Don:

Me: "Oh, my! Can it really be 7:45 already? Wa-a-a-y past my bedtime!"

And then I found my way to my car without any help from Rambo Don and went home to see if I had any messages from eHarmony Bachelor #2.