How to install a cat crapper in 45 easy steps

Our litter box extraordinaire arrived yesterday--a Cat Genie that automatically scoops the poop, washes the litter, flushes the waste down the drain, then dries off the litter with jets of warm air all by itself. How cool is that, eh?

Step 1. Patiently remove Cat Genie parts from shipping boxes. These babies come packed to the max.

Step 2: Guess how to make all the hoses fit into the mechanisms down below.

Step 3: Guess another way for all the hoses to fit in the mechanisms down below.

Step 4: Read the instructions, then fit the hoses to the mechanisms down below.

Step 5: Pretend to drive the little porcelain bus. You know somebody had to do it.

Step 6: Carry the mini toilet (which weighs only slightly less than its full size equivalent) to the spot where it will be permanently installed.


Step 7: Assign an engineer to hook up the water supply and the drain line.

Step 8: Then task the engineer with installing the water and drain lines to the business end of the litter box.

Step 9: Plug it in. Hang out in laundry room for the next hour waiting for unsuspecting cat to drop by and give it a go.

While we waited I pointed out to Morley how much better his life is since we met. Back in the dark times (ie, before me) Friday nights were spent at expensive restaurants having dinner with some high-maintenance chick. Meh.

Nowadays he lurks in the laundry room with me, waiting for a cat to take a crap. Isn't it romantic?

Cat Genie, The Movie:

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